Hereโs a question: how do you get your kids to try something new? Weโve deployed various methods over the years, including but not limited to: bribery (eat this, get that), blackmail (you donโt eat this, you donโt get that), begging (dear god, I am begging you, just one bite), guilt (butย poor mommyย spent twenty minutes making these fava beans for you!), rebranding (well, yes, if you want to get all technical about it: white broccoli is cauliflower, happy now?), and camouflaging (what? the pancakes taste weird today? Hmmm. Iโm sure it has absolutely nothing to do with the flax seed we put in the batter). Each of these techniques has its place, depending on your level ofย existential dread and desperation,ย but each always tends to leave us feeling a little cheap or duplicitious (but only for a second). Which is why, these days,ย weโve been so into the idea of getting the kids to invest in their own food, and their own choices: if you involve them in what they eat from the beginning, theyโre a lot more willing โ excited, even โย to give it a shot. I think thereโs a basic management principle in here somewhere, which I could articulate if I knew anything about basic management. My best attempt: if you give your liโl employees a seat at the table, theyโre a lot more likely to care.
At the Farmerโs Market on Saturday morning, we handed Abby and Phoebe a ten dollar bill and told them to spend it however they wanted, as long as they promised to eat what they bought. They came back five minutes later, after some truly epic hand-wringing โ should we get the cider donuts? apricots? a pound of bacon? special juice? a mini cherry pie?ย we donโt know what to get! โ with a small bottle of lavender honey and two artisanal sourdough rolls inย a brown paper bag. Once we got home, they immediatelyย made themselves sourdough and honey sandwiches; not a classic combination, Iโll grant you, but really, whatโs not to like?ย Then, at the supermarket on Sunday, we tried it again. Weย told Abby she could pick any new thing she wanted, as long as (a) sheโd never tried it before, and (b) was willing to try it now. This is what she came back with:
And this is how she described it, along with the whole idea of shopping for herself and taking a little responsibility for what she eats. Getting invested, I suppose, is another way of thinking about it. Buying in. Committing. Anyway, in Abbyโs words:
Can I actually tell a story? So I walked into the supermarket and we decided to look at the vegetables and fruits first. I looked at all those yummy green beans.ย Then we walked towards the fruits. I love raspberries! We saw a big orange fruit with spikes coming out. I asked my mom, โWhat the heck is that?โ My mom told me, โOh, thatโs bitter, you wonโt like it.โ But then I went over to my dad and said, โLook at that weird fruitโ and he stared at it in a freaky way. He picked it up and said, โOooh, you wanna try it?โ And me and Phoebe said, โOkay!โ Once we got home, I was having a playdate with my friend Madeline and my dad said, โLetโs see what it looks like insideโ and me and Madeline were really interested. Inside, it was green juice with grayish-green seeds. And โ hey, you canโt start a sentence with โand,โ Daddy. Stop! No! Okay, so we took a spoon and tried it. My dad told us we could spit the seeds out, because they didnโt taste that good, but the juice was delicious! I love that fruit. Well, I like it, not love. Every weekend, my whole family does stuff like this. Weย go to shopping and buy fun snacks, vegetables, pasta, and all different things. I always feel like Iโm part of the family when I shop because I get to shop, too, and get to try a lot of different things. I like picking food out by myself ย because it gets me excited to try it just because I picked it out. I usually pick out new things. Like miso soup and the spiked fruit that I had today. It usually goes really good, but sometimes it doesnโt work out so well, like when itโs something I donโt like. Iโm a good shopper.
OK, Iโll bite. What IS that fruit?
Your kid just said โyummy green beansโ so Iโm not sure you need our help.
How awesome does it feel to read those words:
โEvery weekend, my whole family does stuff like this.โ A reminder that kids love routines and being with their families. Congrats โ and thanks!
Love this! Love giving kids choices. Fabulous mama.
something thatโs happening for us (i canโt call it a technique because we didnโt really do it on purpose): our son (7.5) wants to try things heโs seen his fav TV chefs (currently jamie oliver & chuck from โchuckโs day offโ) make. itโs pretty cute to hear him say โthat looks delicious!โ
Your first paragraph is dead on, that is so how it is with young kids and food. Iโm going to have to deploy this strategy with my kids at the farmers market the next time weโre there.
Beautiful, intriguing fruit, BTW.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Horned_melon
a relative of the cucumber!
We might just need to try this with our Phoebe. I think that would work! Thanks!
I use this strategy too, at the co-op and the farmersโ market. My daughter loves the story of how my husband, when he was eight, decided he would try to like a new food every year. The first year it was tomatoes, then mushrooms. Sometimes I make a fuss about a new food (how fun! it is), other times, I just stick it on her plate. It might get left behind, but it might not. After about a year of doing this with asparagus, she finally ate it, declared she loved it, and asked for more. Unfortunately, the adults had already eaten the rest of it. She said next time sheโll eat her asparagus first.
Have your children in the kitchen to help you prepare meals. They will be more interested in trying something new.
sengler: as our pal 654 points out, itโs a horned melon, aka kiwano. And they ainโt cheap!
i canโt blame her, thatโs what i would have picked out too ๐
Love the idea of giving my boys money to spend at the market/ grocery to get them more invested. Going to give it a try this week!
I read this post this afternoon, and immediately tried it. My daughter and I went straight to the farmerโs market, and had great success. (Full story here: http://housepants.blogspot.com/2011/06/farmers-market-experiment.html)
Thanks for the wonderful idea.
This really inspired me. My son is only 21 months old, but I really want him to enjoy food as much as we do and whenever Iโm cooking I give him little bits and pieces to munch on until the meal is ready. Until now heโs not a very picky eater so I guess Iโm doing something right or Iโm just lucky! Thanks for sharing this and keep on blogging! ๐
that is a fantastic essay! we have always had a non-negotiable rule that our son must try one bite of something, and if he doesnโt like it then he doesnโt have to eat anymore. Heโs usually pretty good about that โ sometimes he likes the new stuff and sometimes not, but he really does like trying it. This week though, he asked to try the zucchini, ricotta, and feta tart/quiche I made for dinner, and after one bite said he didnโt like it. Which was totally fine. Except that a minute later he said, โbut Iโm going to eat it anyway.โ I nearly fell out of my chair. Heโs 5 years old, and I am wondering when he grew up. He graduates preschool tomorrow so maybe he thinks he has to ba a big boy now. ๐
Thatโs pretty cuteโand a great idea for picky eaters!
That is a weird fruit if you can call it that!
I love this post- everything about itโฆ especially the end :).
I always appreciate reminders, and this reminder to *get and keep them involved* comes at a perfect time, so thank you!
My oldest daughter was very picky from the get-go so Iโve been working on her for years. I have a method that has been mostly successful so far. I first have her try the tastiest version of an ingredient I can think of, then I incorporate that ingredient into other recipes.
For instance, I had bought some spinach-cheese nuggets, the kind that are breaded and look like chicken nuggets. Anything nugget-shaped is easier to get them to try Iโve found. Well she liked them ok but they werenโt great. I was not ready to give up since I had finally gotten her to eat something with spinach in it.
A few nights later we were at a restaurant and they had spinach artichoke dip on the menu. I had a big โAha!โ moment and ordered it. She was skeptical at first, its not the prettiest dish. But I said, โoh thatโs just spinach, you know, like those nuggets you had the other day, only this has tons of cheese all over.โ It worked! She tried it, loved it and spinach has been on the menu at our home in various, healthier, forms ever since.
This has worked with many, many vegetables? I got her to start eating broccoli by ordering a delicious broccoli cheese soup at a restaurant. Unfortunately, nothing Iโve tried will turn her into a green bean eater it seems!
My son is often enthusiastic about picking out and/or helping prep our foodโฆbut freezes up when it comes time to eat it. We have long employed Ellyn Satterโs advice for trying new foods: he has to taste one bite of everythingโat each meal it is servedโbut he doesnโt have to swallow it. Because tasting something new is one thing, but actually having to swallow it is something else. Giving him an out in case he doesnโt like something has made it easier for him to try it in the first place. Only rarely has he opted to spit it outโฆwhich we coach him to do discreetly.
I must say: I love using this rule. I love its simplicity. I love that we can apply it easily and consistently. I love that it leaves the door open for his personal tastes to change and evolve. And I love that with it, we avoid bribery, cajolery, sneakiness and threats.
Not to suggest this makes everything perfect; our mealtimes still have their hassles (45 minutes to eat spaghetti? Really???).
Oh, if I gave my son $10 at the farmers market, heโd buy ten bucks worth of donuts. (I know thatโs why Iโd need to stipulate he buy something heโs never eaten before). PS: I read your newsletter, do I win the wine?
I got my daughter to eat miso soup by calling it โLittle Mermaid Soupโ (because of the seaweed or whatever the green stuff is), and the tofu is โcubes of cheeseโ. Also, anything served on a stick is a winner.
PS: I read your newsletter, do I win the wine?
1. So what on earth was the freaky fruit?
2. My daughter hates to try anything new, but I am going to try your Pick-Out-Something-New-But-You-Have-To-Eat-It strategy on our next shopping trip.
3. Iโve discovered that she will try new things if they are just lying around. Yesterday there was a bowl of pecans on the counter and she ate them all. If Iโd asked her to try one there would have been much whining and wringing of the hands.
4. PS: I read your newsletter, do I win the wine?
How was the strange looking fruit!
I LOVE to try new things and now have a picky and non picky boyโฆ I say that they have to try everything just once. And some times they like it!
4. PS: I read your newsletter, do I win the wine?