It makes me so happy to introduce todayโs guest-poster, Dahlia Lithwick.ย When sheโs not cooking for her two boys, or writing about picky eaters for desperate food bloggers, sheโs reporting on the law and the courts for Slate. You know, just that. Welcome! -JR
There is well-documented parental shame in having children who are known for being โpicky eaters.โ The implication is that had their grown-ups just introduced them to kimchee and pemmican as toddlers, they would be more adventurous today. But I have come to discover a deeper, more searing mortification than the having of a child who only eats food the color of his own inner wrist (pasta, white bread, and chicken).ย And that is the shame of the picky eater who has come to believe that the fault lies chiefly with his mother.
But allow me to start at the beginning:ย A few years ago, my then-six year old son came home from an overnight at my cousinโs house, raving about her couscous โrecipe.โ
โBut I make couscous!โ I yelped. โYou wonโt eat my couscous.โ
โBut Evelynโs is better.โ He explained, patiently.
So I dutifully called Evelyn to get her magical couscous recipe. And she said: โI add water.โ
Mmmmm.ย Water.
And thus began my longstanding fantasy of someday launching a major cookbook/website/cooking show empire entitled โOther Mommies Recipes.โย The result would be a collection, nay, a curated and glossily illustrated array, of recipes, made exclusively by people whose main qualification is that they are not me. It would feature foods made precisely as they have always been made at home, frequently requiring two or fewer ingredients, that my kids eat willingly at Other Mommies houses, as they heap scorn upon me for not being a really good cook.
In addition to Elishaโs Momโs Couscous (couscous, water) Other Mommies Recipes would feature Boazโs Momโs Mashed Potatoes (potatoes, butter) and also her roasted potatoes (also, potatoes, butter) and Roiโs Dadโs[1] Famous Jam Sandwiches (jam, bread). It would have a section devoted to Auntie Carolynโs scrambled eggs (eggs, butter) and Auntie Edwinaโs hard boiled eggs (eggs, water) โ a dish about which my younger son has waxed so rhapsodic, it would put Elizabeth Bartlett to shame. There could be a whole Chapter on Other Mommies Grilled Cheese (bread, cheese), but I probably couldnโt author it myself without having to be heavily medicated.
I donโt even attempt to make Other Mommies Recipes anymore because after a brief stint of pretending to call the other mommies, laboriously copy down their โrecipesโ and replicating them at home, I have reconciled myself to the fact that I will never ever be able to make pasta the way Tannerโs Mom makes it (pasta, pesto) or the way Grandma makes it (penne, shredded parmesan) or the way my own mom makes it (pasta). And the truly insightful among you have doubtless noticed by now that Other Mommies Recipes have one other unifying feature in common: In addition to featuring two or fewer un-screw-up-able ingredients they also produce food that is somewhere between white and light beige. Because Other Mommies Vegetables is never going to happen.
[1] The fact that this was produced by a Daddy complicates the naming of my โOther Mommiesโ cooking empire but I thought in the interest of full disclosure and the Absence of the End of Men, I should explain that Other Daddies have recipes too.
Thanks Dahlia!ย
my son is worse. he prefers PTA pizza (Dominoโs) to the kind i lovingly make from scratch (which is delicious, by the way). these kids learn from a very young age how to push our buttons (i.e.: whatโs important to Mommies!). Iโve had many successes and my son isnโt terribly picky. but the pizza one cuts to the quick for some reason.
This drives me crazy, too! My daughter asked me the other day if I could make meatballs with the sauce her best friendโs mother โmakesโ which is jarred! Makes me wonder what the point is! LOL ๐
This is completely hilarious. Luckily for my mum, Iโve always loved her food. But Iโm pretty sure some of this would apply to my boyfriend (not Other Girlfriendsโ recipes, but โthings I told you tasted good and you didnโt believe me until your Grandma made it for youโ
I love when worlds collide! DALS & Dahlia are two of my favorites. Great post!
ug, I can totally relate! iโve been buying trader joes organic mac and cheese for the past year and picked up annies organic mac and cheese when i was in target. my almost two-year old son refused to eat. i had to pin him down and force a bite in before he realized i wasnโt in fact poisoning him.
http://semiweeklyeats.blogspot.com/2013/12/theme-song.html
Right there with you. My kids rave about the breakfast my mother-in-law makes (toaster waffles, syrup), and constantly ask why mine doesnโt taste like that. I keep telling them itโs the same waffles and syrup they get at home. Must be the grandma love ingredient.
Rest assured, in some household tonight, some child is waxing rhapsodic about your corn, or spaghetti or something, because his mother didnโt make it.
Mine believe everything from school is better โ e.g. the schoolโs carrots are better (ingredients, carrots?)
As an Other Daddy, I will report that my kidsโ friends who are picky eaters are sometimes sent to eat at our house by their parents because they eat things here they would never eat at home. I donโt know why this is. Other parents gawk in amazement when I relate to them what their children consumed in my house โ and most of it is as perfectly mundane as the items described above.
My oldest eats nothing. He goes across the street to his friends house and will eat tacos โ roast chicken โ spaghetti โ whatever they are eating. Loving food and cooking so much it breaks my heart he wonโt eat it with meโฆ!
So funny! Great post.
It kills me that the only carrots my son wants are those he remembers from his old daycare lady: carrot coins, straight from the can. Gah!
iโm 35 and my mother still talks about how hurt she was when we came home and asked for mrs. Pโs โspecialโ mac & cheese (kraft) instead of her homemade yumminess.
My daughter does with school lunch. She will eat or at least try almost anything presented to her at school and then come home and reject those very same things at home. I even brought home some of the exact same gumbo they served at school only to be told that โit looks funnyโ by the child who happily ate seconds(!) at school.
On the other hand, your child will probably grow up and drive his future wife crazy when she makes something that doesnโt taste like his momโs did! My mom still talks about the time she made rice pudding years and years ago & my dad said it didnโt taste like his momโs recipe. Rice + milk + sugar + cinnamon, right? The grass is always greener or something.
This is nothing new! I remember absolutely hating things my mom made, but happily eating them away from home (this was still in the time when you ate what you were served whether you liked it or not).
It took me years to realize that my mom was actually a lousy cook. She did a few things well (pretty much anything with potatoes), but much of what she cooked was just edible.
Both of my kids were picky eaters at home. Theyโre in their 30s now and I recently asked the eldest what they did when they ate at the homes of others. โOh, we ate whatever they served,โ she said.
Those lovely children put me through hell trying to cook for them. It got to the point that I didnโt enjoy cooking.
This cracked me up! One day, my sonโs kindergarten teacher sent home a note saying how impressed she was that Tyler not only ate the kale served, but HAD SECONDS. I thought, โKale? The green that he tried to spit out at dinner?โ haha
heh. I regularly get to hear about โ not another mommy- but the cook at daycare. Recently I tried to replicate her tomato soup (Campbellโs, milk, water) that I had heard soooo much about. No go. So thank you!
I laughed so hard. But, really, this is hardly surprisingโฆ. Kids have very sensitive palates so they are happy with little variety and simple flavors. Which does NOT mean this is all they should be getting. It is our job, as adults, to introduce them to all the wonderful variety, stay cool when they skip dinner because they do not like it but make sure there is at one food on the table they can manage. Sometimes we, parents, over invest in mealtimes so much that kids feel like they are judged for every bite they eat โ so it is less stressful to eat at friendsโ houses. Also, kids do not get any short order cooking in other peopleโs houses and do not want to put a fuss in front of their friends, so they eat betterโฆ.positive peer pressure in action!
Oh yes. This totally explains my sonโs love affair with the school cafeteriaโs ranch dressing, which is Hidden Valley โ exactly the stuff we have in our fridge at home, except that it comes in enchanting foil packets. He hasnโt eaten salad at home in ages, though we serve it at nearly every meal. Also Grandmaโs hot dogs, which all my children prefer to my hot dogs, but this one Iโll cop to โ Grandma always serves Oscar Meyer, which I wonโt buy because they turn the cooking water neon orange. They have to go to Grandmaโs for that little festival of toxins.
This brings me back to when my now 16 year old son was in first grade. He didnโt like sandwiches which made packing his school lunches difficult. He had an โOther Mommyโsโ grilled cheese for lunch one day. He begged me to get the recipe. For grilled cheese?! Love this post.
i think the phenomenon continues into adulthood โ who doesnโt like sandwiches or salads better when someone else makes them?
Dahlia, I would have to buy that cookbook if it included โthe dinerโs macaroni and cheeseโ (pasta with a cheese sauce, JUST THE WAY I MAKE IT ARGH) and โschool cafeteria chicken tacosโ (corn tortilla, chicken and โI get to add my own toppingsโ โ said while we were sitting down at home with all the toppings neatly arranged in individual bowls for kids to serve themselves. Rubbing salt in the wound: said by the child WHO NEVER ADDS ANYTHING TO HER TACO).
Also, I will happily feed your children spaghetti and meatballs (ingredients: spaghetti, meatballs, optional sauce) if I can send you mine to be fed couscous and scrambled eggs. Thank you.
Too funny. Or it would be if my head wasnโt hanging off from all the nodding I was doing while reading this. From my files โ the kid who ate a tortilla the other day at food therapy and then said โit tastes like breadโ โ ack โ Iโve only said that to him a 100 times trying to get him to try it. Now it is his favorite food, with peanut butter.
Ha! This was me this week! For some reason, Nanaโs grilled cheese is always better than mine! Even if Nana is observing the mommy making it.
Thank you, daughters of mine for putting me in my placeโฆ..not really.