No, the word is not โyakitori,โ though thatย is what you are looking at above, and thatย does play a small role in this post. A delicious role, actuallyโฆall scalliony and salty and glazy. No, yakitori, as good as it is on the grill, shared with friends on a Saturday summer night, that is not the word I want to talk about today.
On Saturday morning, Abby, who had just wrapped up seventh grade the day before, said to me all forlorn and only a little sarcastically, โMom, summerโs almost over. Itโs going way too fast.โ I should remind you here that this is the kid who doesnโt want her birthday to come because in her mind, its arrival means sheโs that much closer to it being over. But I know what she means. I remember when I was a kid, looking at my townโs abandoned Labor Day pool โ everyone squeezing in one last trip before school started โ the fall breeze whipping little ripples on its surface, and longing for it to be Fourth of July instead. Did I know how good I had it on the Fourth, the whole summer stretched before me? Iโd ask myself. Did I? At some point, I got used to the idea that certain things move fast, and way up on the top of that list of things was summer. By the time I was Abbyโs age, I had taught myself not to take Independence Day for granted. In between bursts of fireworks, Iโd ask my enlightened self: Are you paying attention? Your Labor Day self is going to beย soooo jealous of your Fourth of July self. I was still filled with dread on Labor Day, but it brought a small measure of comfort to know that Iโd at least had the wherewithal to recognize the moment, that I had lived that moment withโฆintention.
Yeah, thatโs the word.
Itโs come up a lot lately. Early in the month, I got an email from one of my media friends, David, the father of a 16-month-old. He had received an advance copy of How to Celebrate Everything and said to me, โThis is what I need right now. The reminder to live intentionally.โ My first thought: Where were you when I was subtitling my book? (A Year of Living Intentionally?โฆ.A Year of Intentional Thinking?โฆA Series of Intentional Events?)ย My second: For real? You really truly want to be more in the moment during those sleep-deprived, diaper-changing years?
Iโm joking. Of course we do. (Do we?) YES, we do! Of course we do!
Then last week, I saw that KJ DellโAntonia over atย Motherlode, is running a whole series devoted to the concept of โThe Intentional Summer.โ Hereโs a section where she describes why:
โThe sense that summer fun slips through our fingers is real, and itโs reflected in how peopleย report feelings of health and well-beingย over the course of a 24-day vacation: Our positive feelings increase quickly at the outset, peak about one-third of the way through and then start a downward slide toward our baseline happiness โ and sadly, leave us back there about a week after we return to work.
Jessica de Bloom, the researcher on that and other studies on vacation and happiness, suggested that we take time to consider how we can maximize our summer pleasure, even when weโre not on vacation. A sense of autonomy โ of making active decisions about how we spend our time โ is one of the elements that helps us enjoy our free time.
โMake ordinary evenings and weekends more memorable,โ she said. Do the things you normally do โa little bit differently. Take a bike instead of the busโ or car. Research also suggests that people appreciate their leisure most when it includes elements of challenge, connects us with the people we care about, or helps us to feel a sense of purpose, she said.
My first thought: My seventh-grade self was not insane. My second: Wow, that is one amazing idea for a family series. Each week for the next two months Motherlode will put forth a simple challenge. This weekโs: Ride your bike or walk somewhere youโd normally drive; pick a short distance so it might turn into a summer ritual. I havenโt done that one specifically, but just the whole idea made me realize that there are a few beginning-of-summer rituals in my family โ a kick-off summer BBQ with our friends Todd and Anne; an adventurous hike; a trip to Pixarโs annual June release โ that needed to be actively recognized and celebrated, and then intentionally set into memory amber with tasty food, thereby maximizing the chance that my kids (and their parents) will be able to call upon the resulting summer happiness all year long.
Chicken (or Turkey) Yakitori with Basting Sauce
I intentionally picked a meal that Iโve been intending to make forever. (OK OK JENNY WE GET IT!) I first spied this inย Bon Appetitโs Grilling Bookย about three years ago and it has been on the short list ever since.ย (The book is a summer must-have btw; Hereโs a highlight reelย if you need convincing.) Note: Nothing wrong with throwing a fewย hot dogs on the Weber too, should you have any young yakitori skeptics in your house. This recipe has been adapted.
2 lb ground chicken, preferably dark meat, divided (we used a mix of ground turkey thighs and breasts)
1 cup minced scallions (about 6)
2 tablespoons red miso
2 tablespoons sesame oil
vegetable oil, for brushing
Tare (soy basting sauce, recipe follows)
Heat a small nonstick skillet over medium heat. Cook 2/3 pound (1 1/2 cups) ground chicken, stirring frequently, until it is opaque and just cooked through, about 2 minutes. Transfer to a plate. Combine cooked chicken, remaining 1 1/3 pound chicken, scallions, miso, and 2 tablespoons oil in al are bowl. Knead until a homogenized, sticky mixture forms, about 5 minutes. Clean hands; lightly coat with oil to prevent meat mixture from sticking. Divide mixture into 16 equal portions. Roll each into a ball, then form each ball into a 4-inch-long cylinder. Insert skewers (BA suggests two 6-inch flat wooden skewers per cylinder, which Iโm sure made them easier to handle, but as you can see, we used regular old metal ones and it was fine). Press meat gently to flatten slightly. Repeat with remaining skewers and meat.
Build a medium-hot fire in a charcoal grill, or heat a gas grill to high. Brush grill grates lightly with vegetable oil. Place yakitori on grill in batches, turning every minute for 4 minutes. Brush with Tare and continue cooking, turning once for 2 minutes. Brush again with Tare and grill, turning once, until cooked through, about 2 minutes longer. Serve immediately.
Tare basting sauce:
1/2 cup chicken broth
1/4 cup mirin
1/4 cup reduced-sodium soy sauce
2 tablespoons sake
3/4 teaspoon light brown sugar
1/4 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
1 garlic clove, crushed
1 scallion, chopped
1 1-inch piece ginger, peeled, sliced
Place a fine-mesh sieve over a small bowl. Bring all ingredients to a boil in a small heavy saucepan, stirring until sugar dissolves. Reduce heat to medium-low and simmer until reduced to a generous 1/2 cup, about 20 minutes. Strain Sauce, discarding solids in sieve. Let cool. DO AHEAD: Can be made 2 weeks ahead. Cover and chill.
This recipe was reprinted with permission from Bon Appetit.
On Sunday, we hiked Mt. Tammanyโs Red Dot Trail overlooking the Delaware Water Gap. Halfway down the mountain, Abby said, โYou know what should be a ritual? Milkshakes and French fries after a hike.โ I couldnโt agree more.
P.S. Spontaneous giveaway! I donโt have advance copies of my book yet, but I do have a single galley (a black-and-white paperback) thatโs looking for a home. Comment below with a favorite summer ritual to be eligible to win it. Contest ends Wednesday 6/29 at 8:00 pm ET. Update: The winner has been chosen. Thanks for playing everyone!
Fun, fancy drinks for mom and dad, and non-alcoholic ones (with an umbrella!) for the kiddo. Sipped outdoors, of course!
We have always baked lemon bars on the last day of school. For some reason my kids associate lemon bars with the kick-off to summer vacation. Also, blueberry picking at the local farm on Fourth of July.
Hiking the Adirondacks!
Weโve been walking home from the weekly farmers market to enjoy the evening.
When my family and I go down to Hatteras every summer, we spend every single day on the beach, ALL day. Reading, napping, walking, swimming, totally blissed out. But my favorite ritual comes at the end of the day. My husband, mom, and brother, all tired of the beach, head back to the cottage around 5, leaving me and my dad with our books, beach chairs, and the cooler. We sit, just the two of us, for that magical last hour before dinner when the sun is no longer hot but the water is still warm, most of the families have left and the beach is quiet. Sometimes we talk, sometimes we take a last swim, but for the most part we sip a beer and just stare at the water. I savor every minute of that precious hour with my dad each evening. That ritual makes me feel safe and peaceful and crystallizes into the perfect piece of summer to hold all year.
My favorite summer ritual is lobster night at the beach right in the middle of our annual week in Cape May with all of the cousins.
We are always short of money so our summers are very modest, but our weekly pilgrimage to the library is always a treat.
My favorite summer activity is going out for frozen yogurt after dinner on a random weeknight. There is something so liberating about no school the next day for the kids. No homework and no one has to get up early. Even though I still have to get up early for work, it is so easy to only get myself up and out the door while my teens sleep in. Also, we have been playing games a lot as a family โ Clue, Monopoly, Uno, and Blokus.
Summer is about barbecue, farmerโs market, and peach crumble milkshakes! Summer ritualโฆOrange County fair in Costa Mesa, walking distance from our house. Newborn piglets, sugary funnel cake, cold beer, and good friends make the event one of our favorites!
Playing ghost in the graveyard! It only happens in summer when kids are up too late, running around at twighlight and scaring the living daylights out of each other.
Homemade popsicles on the front porch after dinner!
Eating watermelon on the back porch, seeing who can spit the seeds the farthest ๐
Here in Vermont, a day at the river has to be followed by creemees. Not up for discussion.
iโll tell you whatโs NOT a summer ritual: burying our pet gerbil like we are doing today. boo hoo!! what should we eat to nourish our grieving souls? [a favorite summer ritual is gorging on lobster rolls all over cape cod and drinking negronis on the patio!]
Staying at the pool until the last possible moment when it closes for the season.
Ice cream for dessert at local farm stand. We usually try to limit sweets throughout the year, but in the summer it feels like youโve earned it!
Love the ritual of making peach pie in the summer. Served with vanilla ice cream, itโs perfection!
We live at the Jersey Shore. When the grandsons come for an extended stay we make sure that one nite we go out for โice cream sundaes โ for dinner. Why not!
We live in a three-condo/floor house in Boston and our summer ritual begins in the backyard with our upstairs neighbors. It started a few weeks ago and now I donโt even walk in the front door after work, I know to go around back-we get home from work/school, put the combined kids in the back yard, and let them have at it while we gather dinners. Someone takes turns donating drinks, and the neighbors next door come by too, and it has been making regular weeknights feel like celebrations (the use of the word there and your book title was not actually intentional!).
Eating every meal outside โ we are in the mountains of colorado so eating outside is only a summer activity. We treasure it. I even built a new farm table outside. Itโs 8 feet long so plenty of room for neighbors to stop by and join us.
I love this post so much- I just printed a calendar for the summer to try to be more intentional about the way I spend even random weeknights. I think its such a great idea not only to try to be intentional with each day in the summer, but try to find things to repeat each summer and make them a tradition. A few ideas: 1. Alta Linea in the Highline Hotel on random weeknights for their to-die-for frozen negroni, 2. self-guided pizza tours, 3. day trip to Beacon for hiking and beers at the Hop!
picnics, outdoor concerts and eating dinner outside, every night if we can!
Homemade popsicles, night swims and lots of camping!
I love this idea of intention, ritual and making memories. For me, in summer that means strawberry and blueberry picking, lots of ice cream, homemade lemonade, and afternoons at our little town beach.
My favorite summer ritual is packing up on the weekends and heading to the beach with my husband. I love living close and enough that this can happen!