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Chicken and TurkeyGrillingHow to Celebrate Everything

My New Favorite Word

By June 28, 2016June 30th, 2016146 Comments


No, the word is not โ€œyakitori,โ€ though thatย is what you are looking at above, and thatย does play a small role in this post. A delicious role, actuallyโ€ฆall scalliony and salty and glazy. No, yakitori, as good as it is on the grill, shared with friends on a Saturday summer night, that is not the word I want to talk about today.

On Saturday morning, Abby, who had just wrapped up seventh grade the day before, said to me all forlorn and only a little sarcastically, โ€œMom, summerโ€™s almost over. Itโ€™s going way too fast.โ€ I should remind you here that this is the kid who doesnโ€™t want her birthday to come because in her mind, its arrival means sheโ€™s that much closer to it being over. But I know what she means. I remember when I was a kid, looking at my townโ€™s abandoned Labor Day pool โ€” everyone squeezing in one last trip before school started โ€” the fall breeze whipping little ripples on its surface, and longing for it to be Fourth of July instead. Did I know how good I had it on the Fourth, the whole summer stretched before me? Iโ€™d ask myself. Did I? At some point, I got used to the idea that certain things move fast, and way up on the top of that list of things was summer. By the time I was Abbyโ€™s age, I had taught myself not to take Independence Day for granted. In between bursts of fireworks, Iโ€™d ask my enlightened self: Are you paying attention? Your Labor Day self is going to beย soooo jealous of your Fourth of July self. I was still filled with dread on Labor Day, but it brought a small measure of comfort to know that Iโ€™d at least had the wherewithal to recognize the moment, that I had lived that moment withโ€ฆintention.

Yeah, thatโ€™s the word.

Itโ€™s come up a lot lately. Early in the month, I got an email from one of my media friends, David, the father of a 16-month-old. He had received an advance copy of How to Celebrate Everything and said to me, โ€œThis is what I need right now. The reminder to live intentionally.โ€ My first thought: Where were you when I was subtitling my book? (A Year of Living Intentionally?โ€ฆ.A Year of Intentional Thinking?โ€ฆA Series of Intentional Events?)ย My second: For real? You really truly want to be more in the moment during those sleep-deprived, diaper-changing years?

Iโ€™m joking. Of course we do. (Do we?) YES, we do! Of course we do!

Then last week, I saw that KJ Dellโ€™Antonia over atย Motherlode, is running a whole series devoted to the concept of โ€œThe Intentional Summer.โ€ Hereโ€™s a section where she describes why:

โ€œThe sense that summer fun slips through our fingers is real, and itโ€™s reflected in how peopleย report feelings of health and well-beingย over the course of a 24-day vacation: Our positive feelings increase quickly at the outset, peak about one-third of the way through and then start a downward slide toward our baseline happiness โ€” and sadly, leave us back there about a week after we return to work.

Jessica de Bloom, the researcher on that and other studies on vacation and happiness, suggested that we take time to consider how we can maximize our summer pleasure, even when weโ€™re not on vacation. A sense of autonomy โ€” of making active decisions about how we spend our time โ€” is one of the elements that helps us enjoy our free time.

โ€œMake ordinary evenings and weekends more memorable,โ€ she said. Do the things you normally do โ€œa little bit differently. Take a bike instead of the busโ€ or car. Research also suggests that people appreciate their leisure most when it includes elements of challenge, connects us with the people we care about, or helps us to feel a sense of purpose, she said.

My first thought: My seventh-grade self was not insane. My second: Wow, that is one amazing idea for a family series. Each week for the next two months Motherlode will put forth a simple challenge. This weekโ€™s: Ride your bike or walk somewhere youโ€™d normally drive; pick a short distance so it might turn into a summer ritual. I havenโ€™t done that one specifically, but just the whole idea made me realize that there are a few beginning-of-summer rituals in my family โ€” a kick-off summer BBQ with our friends Todd and Anne; an adventurous hike; a trip to Pixarโ€™s annual June release โ€” that needed to be actively recognized and celebrated, and then intentionally set into memory amber with tasty food, thereby maximizing the chance that my kids (and their parents) will be able to call upon the resulting summer happiness all year long.


Chicken (or Turkey) Yakitori with Basting Sauce

I intentionally picked a meal that Iโ€™ve been intending to make forever. (OK OK JENNY WE GET IT!) I first spied this inย Bon Appetitโ€˜s Grilling Bookย about three years ago and it has been on the short list ever since.ย (The book is a summer must-have btw; Hereโ€™s a highlight reelย if you need convincing.) Note: Nothing wrong with throwing a fewย hot dogs on the Weber too, should you have any young yakitori skeptics in your house. This recipe has been adapted.

2 lb ground chicken, preferably dark meat, divided (we used a mix of ground turkey thighs and breasts)
1 cup minced scallions (about 6)
2 tablespoons red miso
2 tablespoons sesame oil
vegetable oil, for brushing
Tare (soy basting sauce, recipe follows)

Heat a small nonstick skillet over medium heat. Cook 2/3 pound (1 1/2 cups) ground chicken, stirring frequently, until it is opaque and just cooked through, about 2 minutes. Transfer to a plate. Combine cooked chicken, remaining 1 1/3 pound chicken, scallions, miso, and 2 tablespoons oil in al are bowl. Knead until a homogenized, sticky mixture forms, about 5 minutes. Clean hands; lightly coat with oil to prevent meat mixture from sticking. Divide mixture into 16 equal portions. Roll each into a ball, then form each ball into a 4-inch-long cylinder. Insert skewers (BA suggests two 6-inch flat wooden skewers per cylinder, which Iโ€™m sure made them easier to handle, but as you can see, we used regular old metal ones and it was fine). Press meat gently to flatten slightly. Repeat with remaining skewers and meat.

Build a medium-hot fire in a charcoal grill, or heat a gas grill to high. Brush grill grates lightly with vegetable oil. Place yakitori on grill in batches, turning every minute for 4 minutes. Brush with Tare and continue cooking, turning once for 2 minutes. Brush again with Tare and grill, turning once, until cooked through, about 2 minutes longer. Serve immediately.

Tare basting sauce:

1/2 cup chicken broth
1/4 cup mirin
1/4 cup reduced-sodium soy sauce
2 tablespoons sake
3/4 teaspoon light brown sugar
1/4 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
1 garlic clove, crushed
1 scallion, chopped
1 1-inch piece ginger, peeled, sliced

Place a fine-mesh sieve over a small bowl. Bring all ingredients to a boil in a small heavy saucepan, stirring until sugar dissolves. Reduce heat to medium-low and simmer until reduced to a generous 1/2 cup, about 20 minutes. Strain Sauce, discarding solids in sieve. Let cool. DO AHEAD: Can be made 2 weeks ahead. Cover and chill.

This recipe was reprinted with permission from Bon Appetit.


On Sunday, we hiked Mt. Tammanyโ€™s Red Dot Trail overlooking the Delaware Water Gap. Halfway down the mountain, Abby said, โ€œYou know what should be a ritual? Milkshakes and French fries after a hike.โ€ I couldnโ€™t agree more.

P.S. Spontaneous giveaway! I donโ€™t have advance copies of my book yet, but I do have a single galley (a black-and-white paperback) thatโ€™s looking for a home. Comment below with a favorite summer ritual to be eligible to win it. Contest ends Wednesday 6/29 at 8:00 pm ET. Update: The winner has been chosen. Thanks for playing everyone!

146 Comments

  • Avatar Peggy says:

    Cold watermelon eaten outside so nobody worries about dripping watermelon juice on the floor. So nice on a hot hot day!

  • Avatar Kelly Nelson says:

    Summer is our jam! We especially love our tradition of heading to my folksโ€™ house for Sunday dinner, which always includes grilled meats with lots of sides, and swimming.

  • Avatar Jen says:

    We have a 14 month old and have started to think about creating summer rituals that we can continue to do as she grows up. We started Friday night pizza and movie night (where we watch some sort of animated movie and she pays attention for 10 seconds) and after dinner family walks. But lately itโ€™s the little rituals that mean the mostโ€ฆcranking up the music while cooking dinner and dancing in the kitchen, bedtime stories with the books we got from the library (that we visit religiously every week), and popsicles in the pool (baby pool) that mean the most.

    • Avatar Marget says:

      Our favourite summer ritual is breakfast picnics. It started as pure survival when my girls were tiny and sprung to life at highly offensive hours of the morning. In those days I would swing by Starbucks and grab provisions, but now that the girls are bigger (and mercifully sleep a bit later), we bring muffins, fruit, yogurt or whatever we have in the house. The beach is always quiet, and a bit cooler than later in the day- perfect for a peaceful swim.

  • Avatar Nicole Shapiro says:

    Homemade ice cream and popsicles. My 4 year old started asking about them 2 weeks ago!

  • Avatar Heather Roach says:

    This year was our second annual daytime slumber party. My little one and I pull the mattress into the living room while daddy is at work. We watch trashy TV, play with makeup, do spa treatments, and eat lots of popcorn.

  • Avatar Katie S. says:

    Drinking wine on the porch while dinner cooks on the grill!

  • Avatar Tricia says:

    Our favorite summer ritual is going for a swim most evenings after dinner. Great way to end the day ! Happy summer!

  • Avatar Beth Ables says:

    My husband is a teacher, and we LOVE our summers. We always pick a sweltering southern July day and head to the Blue Ridge Parkway to hike Black Balsam Knob and Graveyard Fieldsโ€“easily 15/20 degrees cooler.

  • Avatar Ashley G says:

    We let the kids stay up late to catch fireflies. It is truly summer when the yard is filled with them.

  • Avatar Kay says:

    The summer ritual that I love most, and have been celebrating since I was a child, is nighttime firefly chasing. Staying outside past bedtime, sometimes in pjs, and catching fireflies to set on fingers or ears or hair is one of my most treasured rituals with my own kids.

  • Avatar Marsha says:

    One of my favorite summer rituals is an annual outdoor neighborhood potluck with good food, friendly neighbors and lots of children riding bikes and running around having fun.

  • Avatar Susan says:

    As a child I had fond memories of going to a restaurant near the Jersey shore on the Navesink River called Barnacle Bills. They have a nautical theme and a wall of windows looking out onto the water. The waits are brutal so while you wait you can feed the ducks outside, or eat from the bowls of peanuts at the bar. The peanuts were everywhere, as people would leave the shells wherever they waited. They have the most amazing seafood and burgers. My children have severe nut allergies so I worried I could not keep up the tradition. Then, a cousin told me they removed the peanuts. Now, every summer, my kids get to enjoy it like I did, feed the ducks and eat steamers and burgers.

  • Avatar Karen w says:

    Lots of evening strolls, visiting family, and ice cream every night!

  • Avatar Maggie says:

    We have a few: milkshakes on the last day of school; annual trip to the โ€œSea Shell Shopโ€ at the beach and everyone gets a $5 budget; Wednesday nights at the AIR-CONDITIONED library; listening to a book on CD all together (usually sitting in front of out house because we canโ€™t stopโ€ฆ).

  • Raegan says:

    summer is my happy place! our summer ritual is to get snow cones on saturday afternoons spent poolside. we have a little place called bedford snoballs and its a tiny house in the middle of a neighborhoodโ€ฆno one makes snocones like them!

  • Avatar Janet says:

    Vacation cereal: those multi-packs of little boxes of โ€œsugar cerealโ€ that are off-limits the rest of the year. Both my family and my husbandโ€™s family had this ritual when we both were children, and itโ€™s something our kids look forward to on our yearly trip.

  • Avatar kim says:

    Ice cream and sparklers

  • Avatar Julie says:

    Itโ€™s not summer without lightening bugs, roasted marshmallows and a carefree (read: well planned!) family vacation ๐Ÿ™‚

  • Avatar Sara says:

    Signing the boys up for the libraryโ€™s summer reading program and bringing armfuls of books home every week!!

  • Avatar Tara says:

    Popsicles on the front steps

  • Allison Ruth says:

    I am so with you on this! I just shared our summer bucket list over on my blog and expressed a similar sentiment โ€“ that when we approach summer intentionally, it makes for a much more memorable and enjoyable summer. One of my favorite summer rituals, choosing a summer theme song. The kids and I picked Michael Frantiโ€™s โ€œSound of Sunshineโ€ for this year and it really does make it feel more like summer every time we turn it on! CANโ€™T WAIT FOR YOUR BOOK!

  • Avatar Emma says:

    For the past couple of summers, my family and our close family friends all compete in a sprint triathlon in Warren, CT. Itโ€™s the only triathlon any of us do all year (we call ourselves โ€œcompeters not completersโ€). First we swim in the lake, then bike the perimeter of the lake, and finally run uphill to a vineyard, where the finish line and wine-and-cheese after party are held. Afterwards, we all head back to our friendโ€™s lake house, where we spend the rest of the day hanging out on the dock and eating unlimited amounts of blueberry-peach cobbler with vanilla ice cream.

  • Avatar Kristen McCann says:

    I live for summer (teacher!!) but my favorite ritual is impromptu happy hour plus evening swimming at the lake with the kids. We grab hot dogs and corn and charcoal and cold beer for me and the hubs. And the kids swim in the calm water and the husband and I count our lucky stars.

  • Betsy says:

    Sipping a cocktail on the back porch after work, preferably with a book or magazine, procrastinating on making dinner because itโ€™s usually something simple and grilled so it doesnโ€™t take long. Iโ€™m pregnant this summer though, so I need to figure out something that will adequately replace the cocktail in this scenario (and savor the ritual that will most likely be no more for several years, to be replaced by something new with her arrival!)

  • Avatar Barb says:

    We have just one child, now 16, with a December (24th!) birthday, so since he was tiny we celebrated Kidโ€™s Day. Motherโ€™s Day is in May, Fatherโ€™s Day is in June, and Kidโ€™s Day is in July. On a day of his choosing (especially now since he works), he gets to pick an activity (bowling, ball game, Hershey Park, Sky Zone, etc), choose one friend to come along, and select what he wants for dinner and one (reasonably-priced) longed-for item. All is negotiable- but it always ends a little sunburned and sweaty, and with the deeply pleasing exhaustion of seeing my kid especially joyful for a full day.

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