Last week, my editor sent me the index section of my book to look over. I thought it was going to be some straight stuff, but there were a couple moments when I was surprised to find myself laughing out loud (then found myself crossing those moments right out with my red pen). Such as, under C, โcocktails, enthusiasm for.โ And under J, Just Married, โworshipping talented cooks.โ And, under A, โAwkward Silence Strategy.โ (I had to look that one up myself.) But then there was one I came across that actually made me angry. Again, under C, the indexer had listed beside the word Children, โSee also Picky Eating.โ I like to think things are not so bad at our collective family tables that we need to assume, as this note did, that all children fall under the category of picky eaters. We all have our handicaps (in our house, they areย eggs and pasta ย โ think about that! Two of the most fall-back-plan-y foods that exist in this world!) but if youโve been reading this blog for a few years, hopefully youโve picked up a few strategies beyond the heart-shaped cookie cutter to help things along. Hereโs a recap.
Invest them Up-Front in the shopping part of the process. Iโm all for having them cook with you, too, but convincing them to pick things out with you at the ground level โ the supermarket, the farmerโs market โ ย is a much lower maintenance (and a much less messy) proposition than having them stir the spaghetti sauce all over the stovetop.
Make Sure Thereโs Always Something Familiar on the Plate. I call this โpsychological latchโ food, like tater tots or one of those par-baked Trader Joeโs dinner rolls. Or if you are going to make pizza with clams or poached eggs, make sure at least one half of the pie is a classic marinara and mozzarella (above). Itโs just not fair to spring something like Pork Scallopini on them without an anchor.
But Pork Milanese thatโs another story. Anything Milanese is likely to knock their socks off.
Point and Cook If you are cooking from cookbooks or blogs, have the kids flip through the pages or scroll through the slideshows, and tell them to point to what looks good. Of course you run the risk of it not looking exactly like the picture, but at least their heads are in the right place when they sit down.
Never Answer a Kid When He or She Asks โWhatโs For Dinner?โ Especially if itโs something new. Just repeat these words: โI Donโt Know Yet.โ Giving a kid some time to think about a dish that they potentially hate or that is just downright mysterious gives them a window to formulate an argument against the food โ and also gives them time to convince you to make them something else. Repeat: I Donโt Know Yet.
Re-Package, Re-Spin, Re-Brand. Name dishes after people. Replicate favorite restaurant dishes. When itโs time for sandwiches,ย use your waffle iron. Weโve turned grilled cheeses and regular old bologna sandwiches into edible masterpieces that way.
Apply Broccoli Logic. If all else fails and the only thing you can get your kid to eat is a hot dog, remember Andyโs Broccoli theory? No matter what broccoli (or kale or quinoa) is sitting next to, it will magically transform the dinner into something you can feel good about feeding your children. You might have a hard time finding this concept in most indexes.
Photo by Jennifer Causey for Dinner: A Love Story, the book.
When I was little and we would ask our mom what was for dinner, her standard response was always, โSomething delicious.โ Never any other details. It drove me nuts at the time, but now I find myself saying the same thing to my husband ๐
You are just chock full of good suggestions. Iโll need to file this away for future use. So far the only thing our 7 month old wonโt eat is avocadoโฆ.
Iโm experimenting with the term โselective eaterโ (and who *doesnโt* that describe?), because while my daughter has foods she definitely will not eat (potatoes!), there are a wide variety of things she will eat. โPickyโ seems to equate, in most peopleโs heads, with โwill only eat four foods.โ
But sometimes heart cookie cutters can be great! Case and point: http://www.foreverandarecipe.com/2012/02/be-my-valentine.html . But I totally feel you on the whole โI donโt know yetโ front. That works like a charm.
These suggestions simply make sense. Iโm going to adopt them right away! Weโre forever trying to convince my partnerโs daughter to even *try* what weโve made for dinner, typically without success. The combination of โI donโt knowโ and the familiar should be a huge help. Thanks Jenny!
Love the idea for saying โI donโt know yetโ and will start employing it immediately with my husband!
Great advice. Especially the โi-donโt-know-yet.โ Iโm filing that away for sure.
I teach my kids to say โI donโt prefer thatโ. Itโs so much easier on the ears than โI donโt like itโ or โyuckโ.
I just told my grandmother-in-law who we are visiting soon that as long as there is meat of some kind (chicken, beef, lamb, turkey) my kids will be fine. Hoping that works out for my vegetarian sister-in-law who is also visiting!
I find it curious that children are โpicky eatersโ but adults are completely free to โnot care forโ tomatoes, mushrooms, seafood, cheese (to name a few)โฆ It also irks me when people suggest that kids are fussy or not well-behaved when they donโt want to do something and are expressing their opinion about it. My sweet daughter gets carted to the grocery store, doctors appointments, etc., and doesnโt get a say in it, so Iโm happy to give her time to make decisions too!
Love it all!
Classic, great suggestions. And too true: Who doesnโt love a good Milanese?!
(My favorite idea here is responding to questions about dinner with, โI donโt know yet.โ Not only because, as you say, it presents less opportunity for a kid to decide he doesnโt like something heโs never tried before, but also because it asserts some authority: I will decide whatโs for dinner, and you should trust what I choose, little sweetness.โ)
Awesome post! I hope to be able to read more just like it in the future!
I generally give the โI donโt know yet,โ answer, even while stirring said mystery dinner on the stove. Recently, upon being I-donโt-knowed, my five-year-old collapsed on the floor and said, โWhenever you donโt know, itโs something gross!โ ;o)
Made the salmon and brussels sprouts last night โ it got thumbs up from my five year old. Your blog has inspired some life changing events at our house โ thank you so much!
I love โI donโt know yet.โ I use it all the time. Itโs funny because my entire household knows I make my weekly menu on Sunday. Itโs just my way of saying, โIโm not giving you a chance to whine about what Iโm cooking.โ
Anything Milanese is bound to be yummy, but please no vealโฆthatโs just cruel.
I vote for โC, cocktails, enthusiasm forโ staying in the book!
Will add โI donโt know yetโ to my list of standard responses. Usually, when my 5 kids ask โWhatโs for dinner, mom?โ, I respond โfoodโ. They say โwhat kind of food?โ and I say โthe kind you eat, silly!โ
Made waffle sandwiches tonight with tomato soup and it was a huge hit! Thanks for the idea.
Love these tips and am looking forward to the book! Under the โWhatโs for Dinner?โ question, a dad friend of mine always answers โfood,โ which is a good one. But โI donโt know yetโ is more in keeping with my personality!
I also wanted to share that we are just finishing our Kids Month on B4FD and today have a list of great resources for cooking with kids, another time-worn strategy for dealing with โpicky eaters.โ http://www.blogforfamilydinner.org
Thanks so much for the compilation. The waffle trick for sandwiches has saved me! Also: I am a newsletter subscriber. Do I win the Baked Better Bread Prize?
So the broccoli thingโฆ that counts even if they donโt eat it, yes?!?
Jamie โ Totally!!!
I just found your blog today and was browsing for ideas to help me put some more โnormalโ food on the tableโฆand funny thing is this list was extremely helpful not for my kids, since I donโt have any, but my fiance! If I even mention the name of a dish heโs never heard of before, he refuses to eat it. I admit, I have tricked him in to eating chicken korma by not cubing the chicken, and telling him itโs just chicken with a spiced cream sauce HAHA! These tips will be extremely valuable to me, thanks!