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Picky Eating

Convincing the Kids to Eat: A Recap

By February 13, 2012October 2nd, 201323 Comments

Last week, my editor sent me the index section of my book to look over. I thought it was going to be some straight stuff, but there were a couple moments when I was surprised to find myself laughing out loud (then found myself crossing those moments right out with my red pen). Such as, under C, โ€œcocktails, enthusiasm for.โ€ And under J, Just Married, โ€œworshipping talented cooks.โ€ And, under A, โ€œAwkward Silence Strategy.โ€ (I had to look that one up myself.) But then there was one I came across that actually made me angry. Again, under C, the indexer had listed beside the word Children, โ€œSee also Picky Eating.โ€ I like to think things are not so bad at our collective family tables that we need to assume, as this note did, that all children fall under the category of picky eaters. We all have our handicaps (in our house, they areย eggs and pasta ย โ€” think about that! Two of the most fall-back-plan-y foods that exist in this world!) but if youโ€™ve been reading this blog for a few years, hopefully youโ€™ve picked up a few strategies beyond the heart-shaped cookie cutter to help things along. Hereโ€™s a recap.

Invest them Up-Front in the shopping part of the process. Iโ€™m all for having them cook with you, too, but convincing them to pick things out with you at the ground level โ€” the supermarket, the farmerโ€™s market โ€” ย is a much lower maintenance (and a much less messy) proposition than having them stir the spaghetti sauce all over the stovetop.

Make Sure Thereโ€™s Always Something Familiar on the Plate. I call this โ€œpsychological latchโ€ food, like tater tots or one of those par-baked Trader Joeโ€™s dinner rolls. Or if you are going to make pizza with clams or poached eggs, make sure at least one half of the pie is a classic marinara and mozzarella (above). Itโ€™s just not fair to spring something like Pork Scallopini on them without an anchor.

But Pork Milanese thatโ€™s another story. Anything Milanese is likely to knock their socks off.

Point and Cook If you are cooking from cookbooks or blogs, have the kids flip through the pages or scroll through the slideshows, and tell them to point to what looks good. Of course you run the risk of it not looking exactly like the picture, but at least their heads are in the right place when they sit down.

Never Answer a Kid When He or She Asks โ€œWhatโ€™s For Dinner?โ€ Especially if itโ€™s something new. Just repeat these words: โ€œI Donโ€™t Know Yet.โ€ Giving a kid some time to think about a dish that they potentially hate or that is just downright mysterious gives them a window to formulate an argument against the food โ€” and also gives them time to convince you to make them something else. Repeat: I Donโ€™t Know Yet.

Re-Package, Re-Spin, Re-Brand. Name dishes after people. Replicate favorite restaurant dishes. When itโ€™s time for sandwiches,ย use your waffle iron. Weโ€™ve turned grilled cheeses and regular old bologna sandwiches into edible masterpieces that way.

Apply Broccoli Logic. If all else fails and the only thing you can get your kid to eat is a hot dog, remember Andyโ€™s Broccoli theory? No matter what broccoli (or kale or quinoa) is sitting next to, it will magically transform the dinner into something you can feel good about feeding your children. You might have a hard time finding this concept in most indexes.

Photo by Jennifer Causey for Dinner: A Love Story, the book.

23 Comments

  • Avatar Sarah K says:

    When I was little and we would ask our mom what was for dinner, her standard response was always, โ€œSomething delicious.โ€ Never any other details. It drove me nuts at the time, but now I find myself saying the same thing to my husband ๐Ÿ™‚

  • Avatar City Share says:

    You are just chock full of good suggestions. Iโ€™ll need to file this away for future use. So far the only thing our 7 month old wonโ€™t eat is avocadoโ€ฆ.

  • Avatar mek says:

    Iโ€™m experimenting with the term โ€œselective eaterโ€ (and who *doesnโ€™t* that describe?), because while my daughter has foods she definitely will not eat (potatoes!), there are a wide variety of things she will eat. โ€œPickyโ€ seems to equate, in most peopleโ€™s heads, with โ€œwill only eat four foods.โ€

  • Avatar Sara says:

    But sometimes heart cookie cutters can be great! Case and point: http://www.foreverandarecipe.com/2012/02/be-my-valentine.html . But I totally feel you on the whole โ€œI donโ€™t know yetโ€ front. That works like a charm.

  • Avatar Angela says:

    These suggestions simply make sense. Iโ€™m going to adopt them right away! Weโ€™re forever trying to convince my partnerโ€™s daughter to even *try* what weโ€™ve made for dinner, typically without success. The combination of โ€œI donโ€™t knowโ€ and the familiar should be a huge help. Thanks Jenny!

  • Avatar Tara says:

    Love the idea for saying โ€œI donโ€™t know yetโ€ and will start employing it immediately with my husband!

  • Avatar Cecilia says:

    Great advice. Especially the โ€œi-donโ€™t-know-yet.โ€ Iโ€™m filing that away for sure.

  • Avatar Jessica @ Stay at Home-ista says:

    I teach my kids to say โ€œI donโ€™t prefer thatโ€. Itโ€™s so much easier on the ears than โ€œI donโ€™t like itโ€ or โ€œyuckโ€.
    I just told my grandmother-in-law who we are visiting soon that as long as there is meat of some kind (chicken, beef, lamb, turkey) my kids will be fine. Hoping that works out for my vegetarian sister-in-law who is also visiting!

  • Avatar Gretchen says:

    I find it curious that children are โ€œpicky eatersโ€ but adults are completely free to โ€œnot care forโ€ tomatoes, mushrooms, seafood, cheese (to name a few)โ€ฆ It also irks me when people suggest that kids are fussy or not well-behaved when they donโ€™t want to do something and are expressing their opinion about it. My sweet daughter gets carted to the grocery store, doctors appointments, etc., and doesnโ€™t get a say in it, so Iโ€™m happy to give her time to make decisions too!

  • Avatar Susan says:

    Love it all!

  • Avatar Meister @ The Nervous Cook says:

    Classic, great suggestions. And too true: Who doesnโ€™t love a good Milanese?!

    (My favorite idea here is responding to questions about dinner with, โ€œI donโ€™t know yet.โ€ Not only because, as you say, it presents less opportunity for a kid to decide he doesnโ€™t like something heโ€™s never tried before, but also because it asserts some authority: I will decide whatโ€™s for dinner, and you should trust what I choose, little sweetness.โ€)

  • Avatar edinburg tx apartments says:

    Awesome post! I hope to be able to read more just like it in the future!

  • Laurie says:

    I generally give the โ€œI donโ€™t know yet,โ€ answer, even while stirring said mystery dinner on the stove. Recently, upon being I-donโ€™t-knowed, my five-year-old collapsed on the floor and said, โ€œWhenever you donโ€™t know, itโ€™s something gross!โ€ ;o)

  • Avatar Anne says:

    Made the salmon and brussels sprouts last night โ€“ it got thumbs up from my five year old. Your blog has inspired some life changing events at our house โ€“ thank you so much!

  • Avatar Kim says:

    I love โ€œI donโ€™t know yet.โ€ I use it all the time. Itโ€™s funny because my entire household knows I make my weekly menu on Sunday. Itโ€™s just my way of saying, โ€œIโ€™m not giving you a chance to whine about what Iโ€™m cooking.โ€

  • Avatar Chris says:

    Anything Milanese is bound to be yummy, but please no vealโ€ฆthatโ€™s just cruel.

  • Kate says:

    I vote for โ€œC, cocktails, enthusiasm forโ€ staying in the book!

  • Avatar Tina I. says:

    Will add โ€œI donโ€™t know yetโ€ to my list of standard responses. Usually, when my 5 kids ask โ€œWhatโ€™s for dinner, mom?โ€, I respond โ€œfoodโ€. They say โ€œwhat kind of food?โ€ and I say โ€œthe kind you eat, silly!โ€

    Made waffle sandwiches tonight with tomato soup and it was a huge hit! Thanks for the idea.

  • Avatar Grace @Eatdinner says:

    Love these tips and am looking forward to the book! Under the โ€œWhatโ€™s for Dinner?โ€ question, a dad friend of mine always answers โ€œfood,โ€ which is a good one. But โ€œI donโ€™t know yetโ€ is more in keeping with my personality!

    I also wanted to share that we are just finishing our Kids Month on B4FD and today have a list of great resources for cooking with kids, another time-worn strategy for dealing with โ€œpicky eaters.โ€ http://www.blogforfamilydinner.org

  • Avatar Kim says:

    Thanks so much for the compilation. The waffle trick for sandwiches has saved me! Also: I am a newsletter subscriber. Do I win the Baked Better Bread Prize?

  • Jamie says:

    So the broccoli thingโ€ฆ that counts even if they donโ€™t eat it, yes?!?

  • Jenny Jenny says:

    Jamie โ€“ Totally!!!

  • Avatar Tracy says:

    I just found your blog today and was browsing for ideas to help me put some more โ€œnormalโ€ food on the tableโ€ฆand funny thing is this list was extremely helpful not for my kids, since I donโ€™t have any, but my fiance! If I even mention the name of a dish heโ€™s never heard of before, he refuses to eat it. I admit, I have tricked him in to eating chicken korma by not cubing the chicken, and telling him itโ€™s just chicken with a spiced cream sauce HAHA! These tips will be extremely valuable to me, thanks!

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